Comments for The Former Fundie

Comment on The Problem with Chickens on the Moon by Xtine

Xtine — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 05:50:29 +0000

Very nice post! I’m familiar with this type of sticky situation - how to nudge without pushing - watching family members react to little things and knowing what they’re going to say … wanting to go there, but not wanting to go there.

Comment on Coming Out G-dless by Audrey

Audrey — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:13:19 +0000

Welcome!
It’s sooo much better on the other side, ain’t it?
I’m a recovered Catholic, 13 years of parochial indoctrination. Not like fundies, but it was ‘who we are’ as I was told. IO just had the additional baggage of the eastern european concept that atheist=communist=evil, so it took a while to disassociate the terms.
I look forward to seeing what you write…
Happy Merry Solstice!

Comment on The Reason for the Season by rmh

rmh — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 20:11:56 +0000

Thanks for the support, all. I had a lot of anxiety sharing that as well, but felt so much better when it was finally off my chest.
I consider my religious past almost as if it were an abusive relationship… thought it was the right thing at the time, but having moved out of that mindset and from the outside looking in, I realized it was based on the manipulation, the threats, and the lack of any other options. But just like an abusive relationship, even though it doesn’t make sense, there are still moments when the wound is re-opened.

Comment on The Reason for the Season by Prima

Prima — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:08:11 +0000

I don’t know that the wound ever completely heals. so when I get a “flare up”, I simply apply the ointment of vast informatioin debunking their theories, and go about my gay day. (and sometimes call my fav prima!)

Comment on The Reason for the Season by angel

angel — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 05:09:31 +0000

i know exactly how you feel. what’s worse is that i feel anxiety at sharing those feelings - not out of shame or discomfort, but because i know that any fundie out there is going to look at that and say to themselves, “see how sad she is without jesus? that’s the holy spirit working on her heart. let’s pray for her right now.”

a more appropriate response should be “what the fuck are we doing to people with this shit?”

at this juncture in my life, i’ve had the privilege to know people who were raised in all manner of belief (or disbelief) structures. and by comparison, i believe, to a certain extent, that my childhood of g-d as the only purpose for living has proved to be an enormous emotional handicap. now that i’ve studied my way out of fundamentalism, i am, as an adult, forming all of the coping mechanisms that i was not able to as a child. my g-d bandaid has been ripped off, and the wound is still healing.

i didn’t mean to go on like this, but i know how you feel. and it’s OK to grieve. and it’s OK to feel lonely. just know you’re not alone.

Comment on For the Children by Scott

Scott — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:40:59 +0000

Great post, angel.

Comment on Wal-Mart Has Comforters, Right? by Xtine

Xtine — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:23:47 +0000

ah. I remember this. Double whammy heartache, in that you can’t go to Jesus. I think it turns into celebrating the human condition, celebrating that we are alive to feel these emotions, emotions that evolve and ebb and flow. For me, I eventually learned to be totally (or should I say More) present with the discomfort and don’t look to anyone to take away the discomfort, which always passes. The uncomfortable emotions for me have become even more fascinating… it can be enjoyable to watch yourSelf progress emotionally. Not condoning wallowing in the drama, but being present in it…. allowing it.

And yes, sorry to hear about the discomfort. Glad to hear the honesty. The platonic plague sucks nevertheless.

Comment on Coming Out G-dless by Prima

Prima — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:55:24 +0000

talk is cheap - books bring knowledge - experience leads to enlightenment

Comment on Jesus: Cock Block Extraordinaire by Xtine

Xtine — Sat, 30 May 2009 23:39:59 +0000

Jesus is a great cock-blocker… eventually I’ll get around to telling my lack-of-prom story. At least we girls, and some boys, got to lust over JC as an alternative.

Good luck with the blog!

Comment on Understanding Evolution, Part 2 by angel

angel — Thu, 28 May 2009 15:26:31 +0000

one of the arguments creation “scientists” like to use is that any time there is a mutation in the species, that mutation often leads to disastrous consequences - http://www.angelfire.com/mi/dinosaurs/mutations.html - any mutation, therefore, is due to the degeneration of our species (which began in a pure form as Adam and Eve) or because of radiation (we read! er, comic books).

on the surface (to someone who knows NOTHING of actual molecular biology) that seems logical - the only “mutations” we know of are some type of affliction or other.

while the language here may muddy the waters a bit as far as suggesting intention, i think that it speaks directly to the creationists “but mutations are BAD!” argument.

however, pointing out that there is no point, no goal to evolution is also really important to understand.